Single people who aren’t happy being single typically tend to make the entire world around them sad, because they’re always moping around. Being a backpacker has opened my eyes to a few traits that single people need to pick up from backpackers, to make their lives go a bit easier:
Single People Survival Guide Tip #1: Cultivate a positive attitude
No-one wants to date someone who looks like they’re miserable. Similarly, no one will help or hang out with an unhappy backpacker. Even on their most miserable days, you’ll rarely find the successful backpacker down in the mouth. Now I know you’ll say that it’s easy for me to tell you to be happy but that’s not what I’m doing! All you need to do is to pretend to be happy. If you pretend like you’re happy, no-one will tell the difference and before you know it, you really will be happy because people around you will respond to your attitude and truly make you happy. It always starts with pretending to be happy, though.
Single People Survival Guide Tip #2: Expect the best of people
Most people I know who are unhappy because they’re single think that the world is out to get them. No-one will date them because other people suck. Or, in a strange twist, no-one will date them because other people are so much better and therefore wouldn’t consider dating said single person. Again, this is true of some people and false of others. But if you make a snap decision and lump everyone into a single category you’ll never find the people who are worth approaching because you’ll be too scared of approaching anyone at all. Take a leaf from the backpacker book: backpackers have to make friends quickly because they don’t have much time in each city. They’re usually on the move from here to there and so the process of breaking the ice needs to happen super fast. It doesn’t matter that someone didn’t respond, because there’s no time to dwell on it – there are experiences to be had, dammit, and we’re burning daylight here! Make a friend and go see the sights! Now!
Single People Survival Guide Tip #3: You will survive goodbyes
If you’re too scared to get into something because you’re afraid of it ending, I have news for you: everything ends. Deal with it. Get your head around that concept and embrace it. And once you have truly done that, it will not scare you. Goodbyes are good. Get good at them. Learn how to have something end without having it end you. backpackers know all about goodbyes. What do you think happens to all those friends you make in a new city when its time to move on from that city? You can’t hold on to them. You have to let them go. You have to recognize that the time you had with them was great but it’s over now and life and the road and newer friends are calling.
Single People Survival Guide Tip #4: Love wholeheartedly
Because you know you can be good at goodbyes doesn’t mean you should also be bad at loving. Be good at it. Love wholeheartedly, with innocence. Your heart, contrary to appearances, does not have a finite limit of love to provide. It may seem that way, and for a few months you may find it difficult, especially after a tough goodbye, but if you open yourself up, you’ll find that it is possible. Backpackers always do whatever they do wholeheartedly. Well, the ones who don’t have great experiences don’t really do this, but I’m assuming you want great experiences!
Single People Survival Guide Tip #5: Treat other people the way you want to be treated
This is a cliche but it’s valid. You need to be able to treat other people the way you wish to be treated – both in relationships and not. When you’re asked to switch seats on a long distance bus, react not with irritation, but with understanding – what if it was you who needed to sit by the window, or in the front? Wouldn’t you want the person in that coveted seat to swap with you? Most backpacker types are easygoing enough to accommodate things like that. Similarly, with other people, once you start reacting in a more empathic way, you’ll find that the world reciprocates. Not necessarily because of some deep karmic connection, but more because people will begin to realize that you’re actually quite a nice person.