Sneaking Into Spreepark

Travel

I freeze, at what could have been the slight sound of a twig snapping. Was it just my imagination? Sweat beads on my brow. As I wait, I sense the clincher: the woodland noises have all stopped and I can hear, in the distance, guttural German voices drawing closer. My hand goes up, signaling Iris, …

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open letter

An Open Letter To The Open Letter As A Form Of Public Protest

Blog

Hey, So I was going through some of the stuff I had piled away in the attic of my mind, and I came across a bunch of memories from long ago. And as I sat there, looking at these memories, I realised how much you’ve changed. There was a time when you stood for something …

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Confessions Of A Potential Rapist

Blog

Dear people of the internet. I have a confession to make. I have been struggling since puberty with the urge to rape women. Not any specific woman, just women in general. I suppose it started with the advent of cable television in the 90s, which heralded an influx of western culture that my primitive, pubescent …

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vote

Null Votes Are For Retards

Blog

Not voting in an election is the most apathetic thing you can do. If you don’t vote, you can’t complain about the state of things. There’s something worse than not voting, though. It’s this new concept of protesting the choices offered by voting for no-one and then trying to have that ballot counted. It’s called …

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